March 10, 2017

Real Talk: Staying With Your Partner When Their Parents Don't Like You?

So Real Talk...

Would to stay with your partner if their parents or one of their parents didn't like you?

Now this is a tough one with a lot of deciding factors that can make this complicated. Ideally, everyone would love to be in a relationship where the parents of their partner loves them and accepts their relationship. However, in reality this is not always the case. We have all heard stories of difficult mother-in-laws or overprotective fathers putting a strain ones relationship.

There are many factor that cause a parent to not like the person their child is in a relationship with. While some may have reasonable reasons, there are many that dislike a person for very trivial reasons. They may have issues with their physical looks, level of income or education, their field of work or lack there of, where they live, their race, their past experiences, their country of origin and even an issue with the specific ethnic group they are from. The parent's dislike can be so strong that they make every effort to break-up the relationship or do not make you feel welcome whenever you are around them. Ultimately, they don't like you and there is nothing you can do to change that, thus leading to the question, 'is it worth me staying in this relationship.'

I think at the end of the day, if both parties are in love and strongly committed to the relationship, then the parents not liking them is worth enduring. A lot of times the parents eventually end up changing their attitude towards the person or relationship, so things may ultimately work out. Even if the parents continue to dislike you, the focus should be on you and your partner and what you are building together, not their parents. It can definitely get tough, but you gotta fight for your love! You are in a relationship with your partner not with your parents, and if down the line you get married, you will be building a new family with your partner not your parents.

On the other hand, of course it's not always that simple. Especially with African parents who are a lot of times very judgemental and set in their ways. Yes, there may be some uncomfortable moments with the parents and maybe even some level of disrespect from the parents, however as long as your partner defends you and stands by you against the negativity of their parents then I think it is worth it. Also, you can try to limit the amount of times you would have to see their parents and avoid the drama. Where this get tricky is when you are not receiving this support from your partner in relation to their parents. If your partner allows their parents to get involved in your relationship and cannot stand up for you then that is when one must question if it is worth remaining in the relationship. I am definitely not about that life! I strongly believe that parents should not be allowed to involve themselves or influence their child's relationships. They should allow their child to make their own decisions and even make their own mistakes so they can learn from if it turns out that maybe the relationship was in fact not good for them. Well, I'm just keeping it real!

Ok, so Real Talk, what are your thoughts?

One last thought: If it reaches the point where you have you choose your parents or your partner, what would you do? I think I will share more of my thoughts on this in a Youtube video, so stay tuned!

Photo Credit: Google Images